"Oh, I should make that phone call."
*pick up phone*
"Hello. [imparts necessary information.] Okay. Bye."
"Oh, I should make that phone call. No, I’ll make it tomorrow."
"Oh, I should make that phone call. No, I can wait another day."
"Okay now I really have to make that phone call, I can’t wait any more. I have to do it."
"But my phone’s way over THERE."
"I don’t want to."
"I REALLY don’t want to."
"Oh, God, you have no idea how much I don’t want to."
"Okay. I’m getting up. I’ve got the phone."
*sits down at desk resolutely*
"I’m gonna wait til my record finishes playing, cause I don’t want to pause it in the middle and the music will distract me from my phone call. Besides, this way I can spend a few minutes to sit here and really enjoy it."
*lost in thought*
*automatic replay kicks in*
*whole side plays again and I don’t notice*
*roommate walks in*
*I snap back to reality*
"OH NO I have to make that phone call!"
*Gets up and turns off record. Inspects self in mirror which is right above record player. Realizes this is stupid as person will not be able to see me while I’m on the phone.*
*sits resolutely at desk again*
*rallys self, usually with Doctor Who quotes*
*picks up phone, stares at it a moment*
"OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD I AM SO NERVOUS WHAT AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO SAY TO THIS PERSON WHAT IF THEY ASK ME QUESTIONS I DON’T WANT TO ANSWER QUESTIONS I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LAKJSD;FLKAJSD;IOFUPQEOI"
"Hello. [Imparts some of necessary information, punctuated by long pauses and stuttering. Silently yearns the entire time to be able to do this in person or in writing, media in which I am capable of being polite, eloquent, witty, and charming. On the phone I am a six-year-old cro-magnon with a speech impediment and allergies.] I’m sorry."
"If that didn’t make sense."
"Oh. Oh, it’s okay."
"Okay. Well, bye."
"Bye." (Oh no, oh no, who’s supposed to hang up first? If I hang up now will they think I don’t like them? If I let them hang up first will I seem needy? I’d better just hang up this needs to end.)
*puts head on desk*
*has cup of tea and takes long nap*
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